What Does "Domestic Violence" Mean?

Domestic violence is a learned pattern of physical, verbal, sexual and/or emotional behaviors in which one person in a relationship uses force and intimidation to dominate or control the other person. The partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay or lesbian; living together, separated or dating. Domestic violence occurs in all ages, races, genders and social classes.

The violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while. Examples of domestic violence are:

• physical assault or abuse --- hitting, pushing, shoving, slapping, choking, punching, kicking, grabbing, beating, throwing her down, tripping, twisting arms, biting, using a weapon
• threatened physical harm
• sexual assault or abuse --- unwanted, forced sexual activity, making her do sexual things against her will, physically attacking the sexual parts of her body, etc.
• stalking
• intimidation
• emotional abuse --- mind games, name-calling, put-downs, making the victim feel bad about herself
• jealousy --- a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust
• controlling behavior and forced isolation (from family or friends) --- controlling what the victim does, who the victim sees or talks to, where the victim goes, relocating to a remote area, etc.
• economic abuse --- preventing the victim from getting or holding a job, and controlling the purse-strings by withholding money, taking her earned money, giving her an allowance, making her ask for money, etc.

A Step By Step Guide to Victim Services

• After a domestic battery arrest has been made the City Attorney Criminal Division will contact the victim by phone or written correspondence. Our Office will make the victim aware of various services available to them either through the prosecutor’s office or social service agencies such as the North Idaho Violence Prevention Center.
• The City Attorney's Office will keep victims informed of any significant developments in the investigation and the prosecution of their case, including final disposition and judgment. This is accomplished by mail, telephone and/or personal contact.

Resources Available for Domestic Violence Victims

Shelters:  Domestic violence shelters can provide safe, short-term housing, information, and assistance in considering all the options available to victims. They can also help break down the isolation victims have experienced in their abusive relationships and provide support from others who have been through similar experiences. Shelters provide a variety of supportive services which are confidential and free of charge:

• 24 hour confidential crisis hotline
• shelter for victims and their children
• crisis intervention
• information and referrals
• legal advocacy
• housing assistance
• transportation
• child care
• individual counseling and support groups
• assistance in developing a safety plan.

An important step to help yourself or someone you know prevent or stop violence is recognizing the warning signs listed on the Power and Control Wheel.

Power and Control Wheel